Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Why do we still feel attached or jealous when a covert narcissist moves on, even after realizing their toxicity and the suffering they caused?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Hackers take aim at Washington Post journalists in an apparent ‘targeted’ cyberattack - CNN

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Be who you already are.

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Why do most Indian women cuckold or cheat on their husbands?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I had run out of hope.

Jenna Bush Hager Gets a Major Leslie Bibb-Inspired Hair Transformation on Live Television - instyle.com

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s here now, writing to you.

You are like me, then.

If Jesus was crucified by Governor Pontius Pilate, why does the Quran deny his death?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

And the sadness?

In my experience, British people are fat, ugly and arrogant. Why is it and can it be changed?

The sadness was still there.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

🌿🌻Why are Meghan and Harry not treated like royalty in the United States anymore?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s still here.

I was tired of fighting.

What was your best unexpected reunion with your childhood best friend?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.